I have visions of my athletic prowess from my youth springing to the fore and running a record time around Frankfurt, passing professionals with consumate ease and mocking them mercilessly….. Visions that are definitely suggesting that I am not entirely in my right mind.Â There may well be a number of small quakes measuring well into the Richter scale in Frankfurt shortly……followed by the headline “Escaped Panda found shaved and dead” in the following mornings paper.
That said, I have decided to give up smoking, go on a diet and start exercising.Â Oh crap, now I have put it out there, I will have to do it for fear of humiliation.Â It is a bit like not telling anyone you have your driving test, so you don’t risk the ignominy of telling everyone you failed.Â What people don’t know can’t hurt you I suppose.
I am a little unprepared for it though..if there is some type of festival thing going on (there always seems to be in Frankfurt), everyone will assume I am in an Uncle Fester costume and will be waiting for Morticia or Cousin It to be following somewhere behind.
I don’t mind though, I have been moaning about my extra poundage for a looong time now and done precisely…nothing about it.
Now is the time.Â Never in the field of human conflict has so much been drunk by so few and added so many pounds….. or something.
I have been to the Doctors and got myself a prescription for a miracle stop smoking drug…although apparently my health insurance won’t cover it and it will cost me â??150 That said, I spend that on cigarettes every 15-20 days……
As a smoker of many years, it is difficult to analyse it, but if you have to produce the money that you will spend on cigarettes in one go..it seems impossible.Â But you can produce the money every day for the month with relative ease.Â I don’t fully get that, but I will try it in the next few days and see how it goes.Â I have used this wonder drug before and gave up smoking for 4 and a half years, so I am pretty confident it will work again….hopefully for longer than last time too.
So there you have it, a statement of intent.Â Intent to stop the procrastination and actually do something for once.Â Women will want me and men will want to be me, I will be the perfect physical specimin and probably compete in the next olympic games.
Now, I am just off to MacDonalds to bulk up…that’s how you do it right?