Lets face it, jobs are a pain in the hole. I mean, you turn up and do a good job and then what happens, they expect you to repeat this amazing feat the following day. So the following day you turn up and you don’t do such a good job…then the trouble really starts…..or worse, you do just as good a job as before and now the precedent is set.
I am pretty sure that cults are the way to go. If you pick them carefully, you can hole up somewhere and all of your followers will provide you with money. Get enough followers and try not to upset the authorities and you can register as a religion, where the tax benefits are huge.
So what should my cult be centered around? Creationism? Naah, that has been done by at least 3 American Presidents. Something modern perhaps? What about the “Hedonistic Brothers of the Blogosphere”? Too obvious and probably quite difficult to convince the powers that be of religious intent.
I remember a few years ago in the UK, there was an attempt to get Jedi entered as a valid religion during the national census survey that happens from time to time. Apparently there is a rule that states, if a certain number (check out MY researching skills!) of people specify something on the census as their religion, British Government are obligated to recognise it as an official religion.
I could probably tap into the existing Star Wars fanbase, and I am fairly sure that the census is a matter of public record.Â Lets face it, 2 or 3 years from now and I could have my own TV show accepting pledges somewhere in the Bible Belt of America…..Tom Cruise would be my spokesman and would bring with him one of his 18 wives (all perfectly acceptable under the Jedi religion…yes I know it goes against the films ideals).
I would of course look to avoid mass suicides and Waco style sieges….look to avoid says I….like I am really going to start something like that.Â I just want the money and tax breaks…killing my followers would seem to be counter intuitive to the whole process….unless I can persuade them all to write a will.
Hmm – the thot plickens
Nah – I have to say that I don’t think Jedi will work, not least of all as I am competing with too many geeks.Â I will have to think of something else.
Something that would allow my budding evil genius disposition to prosper.Â I have followers already, my messenger list comprises of 182 people.Â A large proportion of which require me for technical services.Â I could run a seminar…that’s it….run a seminar on how to sort your own damn computer out, and intersperse it with subliminal messages about how to sort your own damn soul out by sending me large and regular sums of money.
It could work
Send me all of your money
Send me all of your money
You never know