Now, I am under no illusions about my ability to call myself a writer, but I find myself suffering from that heinous of afflictions….writers block.
I made a decision that I would attempt to post something every day this month, without fail and up until now I have done ok.Â I regularly page vomit (how I describe my “style”) stuff that happened to me or my family in the past, but I quite like things that are happening to me, and the people around me, now.Â I think the blog may have scared people away.Â Noone is giving me any blogworthy…stuff.Â And sadly, I just don’t live an interesting enough life.
So I implore any of you that know me, DO SOMETHING…..well, something interesting at least.Â If it could be deeply embarassing and involve copious amounts of alcohol, misunderstandings, sex, possibly some form of STD and a woodland animal or two…then I would be eternally greatful.Â Although right now I would take a critique of the priests latest sermon from your bloody bible group.
I have even shamelessly googled cures for writers block, googled….for information…..ME!!!Â Whatever next, sending an email through an email client…the world just can’t handle this kind of radical thinking.Â Funnily enough there are literally thousands of ideas on how to cure the block.
Here are some of the suggestions:
Step Away From the PC. Walk around your block and find (write it down, please) ten things you’ve never seen before. When you return home, write them into a story/poem.
I tried this and realised that that there is very little in around my block that I haven’t seen before….Now, if it was to find things I haven’t done, that would be different.Â Although I would be tempted to try whatever it was immediately and therefore chalk that off the list.Â A nice idea though, but it isn’t helping me find subject matter and certainly doesn’t involve woodland animals.
Distract with Social Conscientiousness. Find an injustice and right it. It doesn’t have to be a major world event, merely something nagging at you that you’ve always meant to do something about. Fix this nagging subconscious guilt and you’ll open the gates.
Ok ok, so the pentagon isn’t taking my calls, the guy from BP must have lost his Blackberry or something and the Ozone layer resolutely refuses to pull itself together.Â What is a guy to do
Flirt. How long has it been since you fluttered your eyelashes shamelessly at someone for no reason other than joie de vivre? If the answer did not immediately spring forth, leave this page and go attend to that at once. Sublimation is key here.
See now heres the thing, flirting…in the hands of an amateur such as myself, could end up being dangerously close to stalking…or at the very least some form of harrassment.Â Whilst I could probably find a lot of things to write about in jail…people called Bubba and the ever increasing soreness of my rear-end probably will hold limited interest to a very *select* audience.
Remember, We Die. “Memento Mori”. Make it your mantra. Scribble it on a post it note and stick it on your monitor. Whatever seriousness you think has you in its grasp, like dust, will soon enough be carried by winds into infinity. We are small, and what lies beyond is infinite. Use this as an anchor to the present whenever you are taking yourself too seriously, and as a strategy to connect you into the spiritual realm beyond this existence. That realm being, ironically, filled with the very components that inspire us to ever write at all.
Seriously?!?Â Remember, We Die…this is a cure for writers block?Â Depression and black thoughts do not a humourous post make.Â “Remember, You Are Alive” could work better, but even that…AS A MANTRA remember…could cause you to spiral into a “woe is the world, why do I live” condition which probably ends up as the first bit and a possible suicide attempt.
Christ, if only I wasn’t blocked I could write about this…